Thursday, November 12, 2015

Slogging Through Syrup

     I can't believe that I have neglected to post a blog since July. I can say that I have drafted many entries in my head. I have gone over many topics, discarded a LOT of stories to protect the guilty, and gotten up so many mornings with the intention to write something, anything on my poor lonely blog.

     But.... like much of my life right now, I never seemed to get to it. I often feel like I am slogging through syrup. Like every task is harder and takes longer than it should. Aside from the health issues that I am still dealing with, the medicine I have to take has some side effects. All of it combined leads to good days, and not so good days. Then the not so good days lead to tons of guilt about what didn't get done that day. I feel so much guilt, all the time, I'd swear there has to be some Jewish blood somewhere back in our history.
 
     On a good note, Amanda got her first "big girl" job, ironically as a 911 dispatcher. I am very proud. Ray and I counted and from my grandfather through to her, we have had 10 different badges in our family. I wish my dad and Pawpaw could see that. But I know they can.  Last week we went to see two wedding venues and have started planning the wedding. Herding cats comes to mind.......LOL.

     Also last week, we ordered Sarah's graduation invitations, cap, gown, etc. She has been on the A-B Honor Roll this year and is actually enjoying it. Figures that she'd find her groove in the last stretch. She had a choir concert last night that was SO GOOD. I am a huge sap, and I only got teary once. Seriously. I cry at ALL these kids performances. Any video has me in the background sniffing and snorting. Check out my YouTube channel. You'ii see.

     Emily is Em. she's 14. No other comment. Just kidding. She's a sweetheart, taller than me (duh), with curly hair like the goat on FB. She is OBSESSED with Pentatonix.

So anyway, that's whats been up with me. Got a few things on the horizon, and I totally intend to blog it!

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Vacation Days 4-7

** Repost** Apparently it did not post the fist time. Who knew??

     So days 4 - 7 were kind of a blur, We continued our trend of just doing what we wanted, so the kids stayed in their bathing suits moat of the time. Ray wanders the complex and knows all the neighbors, where they are from, what their occupations are, etc. Warren likes to chill in his tower room and watch Netflix, then he comes out of his lair every now and then, as do I.
     The BigMacs rented standing paddle boards for use in the bay, and we all ended up trying it (except Ray and Mom). Emily and Sarah rocked it. Amanda, not so much, but got high points for entertainment, and did eventually stay up for a bit. I managed to stand up for a few seconds once. Bob and Warren were great, Lia did good, and Beth was a rider. All in all, we had a blast.
     On Friday, we all went to Ft. Pickens, were Ray and I first visited Florida as a couple. The kids and the BigMacs toured the fort, we went to th museum, then we all went to the beach. There was a storm in the gulf, so the riptides were HUGE, and we ended up mostly sitting at the waters edge, but it was still a great day. Then Ray caught two little boys peeping under the floor of the women's bathrooms. Always vigilant.
     Saturday, Emily, Beth, and I went snorkeling in the bay. We stayed in about 2 feet of water, and only saw small fish and some hermit crabs, but Beth thought she was Jacques Cousteau. And it was very relaxing. We spent most of the day in the water, either in the bay or in the pool.
      We left for home, packed, because the BigMacs had to leave earlier in order to get home and then leave almost immediately for a work trip, so all the stuff the had brought with them in their truck, we had to carry in our SUV back. We were packed like clams. Due to a fatality accident on the interstate, getting home took an extra couple of hours, but we handled it.
     Over all, the trip was a great success. We took care to treat each other kindly, which was my goal. We spent time together, but not enough to get on each other's nerves. We made some meories. I kept my expectations in check, and we all communicated (most of the time). For 10 - 12 people, you couldn't ask for more, in my opinion.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Vacation Days 2 & 3

     So I guess a vacation is going well when you are either too tired or too busy to post, right? Yesterday, everyone was WORN OUT from trying to do everything at least once in the first day, so we spent most of the morning lounging around. Then the adults went to Rodizio Grill, which is a Brazilian Steakhouse. Basically you sit, and they come and slice delicious grilled steaks and other meats for you. Just meats. Oh, and grilled pineapple. You can get up and go get salad and other veggies if you want (but WHY?) and THEY KEEP BRINGING YOU MEAT!! I was so happy. And so full. It Was beyond good. Although I did pass on the chicken hearts. Ray, of course, did not pass on anything. Bob and Lia treated us for our anniversary. Not enough thanks!!! Bur THANK YOU!!

     Came back and went swimming and winder of wonders, we did not hit the bottom after all that food. Then the nephew, Em, Amanda, Ray and I watched "To Kill a Mockingbird". Kids kept trickling away and by the end of the movie, it was just me and Emily. She is almost 14 (2 weeks, just ask her) so it's a great time to see this movie and "get it".

Today, Lia and Bob visited some friends. They used to live in the area, so they still have local friends. Mom is doing the same thing tomorrow. Half the crew went to the beach. Sarah hung at the pool. Mom and the grandkids played Monopoly this morning. Meatloaf for dinner. It's all very exciting.

Monday, June 8, 2015

Family Vacation, AHOY!

     Well, yesterday the whole extended family embarked on our first vacation together. Yep, 10 of us in a Florida condo for 7 days. We range from 9 to 63. 3 generations. Lots of personalities. 2 stroke victims, 1 TBA, several anxiety sufferers, 4 teens, and a Yankee. (we love Bob anyway!). My sister and I planned this to the best our abilities, and then we are just turning it over. Lia found a great condo near the beach with a fishing pier, and a pool, so there should be something for everyone to do. we have three floors to spread out, and we have plenty of room. So far, day one of Florida Family Vaca 2015 has been great. Beach this morning, pool this afternoon, long nap, bar-b-cue dinner, pool again, settling in for the evening. We win!!

Monday, April 13, 2015

I've Gone and Done It!

SO, after many years of scribbling, lots of FB post, my little bloggy here,and Twitter, I started writing the book that's been in my head. Actually, this is my third start. But it's for real this time, and I'll tell you why. I also joined a writer's group. For accountability and tips and criticism and ALL that stuff! All the stuff that lets you quit.

Last night was our first meeting and in the manner of full disclosure, it ended up being just me, one of my besties and my mom. Which sounds like it would be the BEST audience for the first read-aloud of your written material, right? Well, here is my little secret. I am an actress, too. When I am in an uncomfortable and new situation, BAM! Actress Heather takes over. So, Heather the Mysterious Writer With Lots of Important and Meaningful Things to Say was going to read her work easily and with confidence. But since Misty and Mom knew it was me, I had to suck it up. And since I could not see the freaking words, (bad eye day) Misty ended up reading it anyway. They liked it, I was happy and relieved and mainly I got the first hurdle of getting my words out there into space.

The moral is, even if it's scary, do it.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Why Bon Jovi Makes Me 16. Forever.

When I was 16, I bought 2 tickets to go see Bon Jovi in concert. One for me and one for the boy I thought I loved. I did not know at that time that unrequited love is not really love. He was always up front with me, and never played games with me, which in hindsight is pretty amazing for a 17 year old boy. I mean, I was a pretty easy mark at that time, because I really cared about this boy, He had family drama, was abandoned by his mother, and was ripe to be saved by someone. Enter ME, I thought. Add in the fact that we spent all of our time together, and he never dated anyone else the entire time we where friends, and you have a whole teenage angst driven movie. However, I moved away, he did not throw himself in front of the car to stop me, I met Ray, and things have progressed as they should have. And that's why I let God be in control of my life. He does it better.

Anyway, my friend April and her boyfriend went with us to the concert. 1990. Big hair. Check. Torn acid washed jeans. Check. We were good to go. We were at an outdoor arena in spring. Sitting high up in the grass, but that was what I preferred. So we have stars, sitting with my friends, and THE guy, waiting. Suddenly it occurred to me that Jon Bon Jovi was right down there. Right behind that stage. RIGHT NOW. Let me explain. I am a worrier. I rarely live in the moment. I worry about why i am worrying and not living in the moment. What if there is a fire? What if I have to go to the bathroom? What will I miss? How long will this concert last? How bad will traffic be? Is the car safe? This is just how my brain works. Then the stage went dark. And the beginning guitar solo from "Wanted Dead or Alive" began, and the stretched it out for 2 or 3 minutes. I remember just feeling like nothing else mattered but being there, in that moment, with my friends, enjoying that time. And that's what we did.

My kids laugh at me because they know when that riff comes on the radio to SHUT UP. I have to have my flashback, and I may or may not tell the story of how awesome that night was. Because it was. And so many of their songs have stories , but I'll spare you.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Some much stuff....

I have so many things in my head right now that it's been a little bit difficult deciding what to blog about. There are a lot of things that I want to say a little bit about, and a few things that I want to say A LOT about, but for various reasons, (the law, good manners) I cannot. So, here I am with a jumble of thoughts to share with you.

A close friend's husband is facing a medical crisis. I say crisis, because that is truly what it is. While his kids are technically grown, they lost their mother very young, so he is their only biological parent. I have not been friends with her husband, in fact, our friendship at times was strained by the fact that her husband and I did not see eye to eye on many things. Instead of creating friction, we just let some distance grow, but we always knew that we were there for each other, and more importantly, we were there for each other's children. Now He is very ill, and although we will never be close, I do not wish this for him, or anyone. I want to be able to be there for them both, and their children. And this is where it gets complicated. Now that I can't drive. I have to learn new ways to support my friends in their times of need. Before, I would go to the hospital and bring lunch, or pick up kids, or bring a meal, or whatever. Now I have to get creative. Cards, and texts, and just my words sometimes have to be enough. Knowing that I am praying for them in their situation takes on new meaning. When I say it, I truly mean it, because sometimes, that's all I have to offer. And many times that has to be enough.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Weddings and such......

     Some know, some don't, my oldest is engaged to be married, but not until 2017. There is a whole story and mess that goes along with the engagement that doesn't bear examining again. Suffice to say that it could have been handled better by everyone involved, and and let's leave it there. You are stupid when you are young, and that's just how it is. Everyone involved has worked to get past hurt feelings and to forget the things we maybe should not have said. ( That was not me, of course.😉) Her fiance is and was part of the family. As long as he remembers that he has used up his do-over. Lol.

     Anyway, now we are looking at venues. And dresses. And veils. And so on. And I want so much for every single thing to be special and meaningful for her. I want every word spoken to come from the heart. And every photo taken to make SOMEONE go "Awwwww!". I want her sisters to get along (hey, they have 2 years! They can all grow up by then, right??) I want ....... And there is the kicker. I want. Most of the time our problem is that we are TOO alike, so I am hoping that in planning a wedding, that could be a positive, right??
     
     In looking at Pinterest, otherwise known as the Devil, I came across a site that had some really good ideas for making a wedding a personal affair, not just a money wasting show. I am not telling because we may use A LOT of these, but the point is, there are people who want to be personal in their weddings again, and that makes me teary. We obviously are not wealthy, and do not pretend to be. I do know some Jonses', but they tend to screw up a lot, and I don't want to keep up with that. (not YOU! The other Jonses'!!)  My point, and I have several, is that I love weddings where the people LOVE each other, and you can see it. They want to celebrate it, and want you to celebrate it too. That's my goal. And I hope it's Amandas's goal too. 

     Spoiler: God is gonna be there! I know him! I know him!😂😂

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Grandma's House

     When I close my eyes, and think about my grandparents' house, I can actually smell the fragrances that were always there. Meals that had been cooked. Laundry, as the washer and dryer was in the kitchen. And the sunshiny, dusty smell of the back bedroom, where the haunted wardrobe and the stair step photo of the children was. I was never afraid to go in that room, but I don't remember sleeping in there, because it got hot. I was only there in the summers, and the window units in the old house did not cool that room, so it mostly stayed closed off. To me it was a place to be explored, to sit and read. 
     The kitchen had a pass through bar, that my cousin and I, and the little girl down the street used to play diner. Our main menu items were grilled cheese and KoolAid, but you got service with a smile. And maybe a giggle or two. The back door was always open in the daytime. To the left of the back door was the washer and dryer. And in front of that was a kitchen table. I mainly remember eating there, or at the bar. 
     The dining room was where the toaster was for some reason, and it was what I called the pop fly toaster. When the toast was done, it shot the toast literally into the air, and if you didn't get it, it fell behind the cabinet that it sat on. I was very small for my age, and probably had about a loaf of bread toasted behind that cabinet each summer. The dining room table sat directly in front of the air conditioner so it was a race to eat your dinner before it cooled. This is also where the deep freeze was. Always full. Of what, I have no idea. Lots of whitish packages.
     In the living room was Pawpaws chair. He looked just like the old man from the movie Up, and I can smell his soapy, shavy, smell so easily. He wore white shirts and Liberty overalls every day except Sundays. When he died and was laid out in his Gulfport Fire Deprtment Captain's uniform, I did not recognize him. Where were his overalls? 
     By his chair was the telephone table, and the phone was actually still there in the 80's. With the phone book. There wer extensions in the house, but the table remained. Also in the house was an AWESOME (!) picture of Jesus with his hands protecting an 18 wheeler. My dad was a truck driver, and my grandmother just loved that somewhat tacky picture. They also had a T.V., although there was a preacher at their church who believed that the T.V. was the devil. When he pulled up, Grandma would holler, "Oh, turn the tv off!". And that was it until he left. The thing was sitting there in the living room still popping with static electricity, so I know they weren't fooling anyone. I believe it was just a respect thing. Pawpaw loved Urkel, on Family Matters, just laughed at him constantly. So if the preacher showed up during Urkel time, he may have run the risk of losing a Sunday attendee.
     My grandparents had separate bedrooms, as people did at that time, after a certain point. I loved the sound of the police and fire scanner that Pawpaw had on in his room all night long. And they would talk to each other from room to room. If something "busy" was on the scanner, Grandma would ask him what it was, or where it was. He would sleep, but he still listened to that thing all night. I guess his years as a fireman trained him to do both. I slept in the room with her, and never slept better. There were no doors between the two rooms, just a hallway, where the bathroom was. 
     Every evening after dinner, everyone moved to the front porch (unless it was Urkel time). There was a swing, and the metal chairs that bounced. When I was little, the porch seemed about 10 feet off the ground. In later years, I saw that it was about 3 feet. Go figure. We would sit and swing, and talk to neighbors until dark. My cousin Jodi and I would swing on the porch swing and sing for hours. 
     There are so many more memories. Walking down the street to get Slush puppies. Playing in the forbidden tree. Riding in the yellow Datsun with Pawpaw before he smashed it and himself. I keep all of those memories tucked away, until I smell something or hear something that puts me right back there. Then I remember. And I miss them both so very much.