A few people have asked me to update my blog more often. Well here it is. Today what you get will probably not be wity and fun. It won't be light and giggly. If that's what you are looking for, hit escape now. Seriously, turn back, because I got issues today.
If you are still reading, I have to assume you are ok with my issues. And the main one is this. I am disabled. It has taken me a while to accept that. And now that I have accepted it, I am really learning how to live with it, and what my limits are. So, I am not willing to bang my head into the wall anymore. Literally and figuratively. My disabilities are not visible. I don't use a cane, even though I am blind in one eye, and have severely compromised vision in the other. Should I carry a cane? Wear a shirt that says "Can't see!"? I am dizzy ALL THE TIME. No, really. All the time. Take that in. That great feeling when you've had a few drinks and you have a buzz going? That. With no drinks. And without the great part. Just the stumbling around, and the falling and bruises all the time. And being in a store and wondering if people think you are drunk. It sucks. The drs don't know why it's happening, or really what to do for it except to give me meds that help but make me sleepy. And when I sleep all the time, I just feel guilty for all the stuff that did not done.
I'm just frustrated right now. I have always been very independent. I am still, to a point. So when I ask for help, it's because I NEED it. It's more frustrating than ever to not get that help. I don't want a big hoopla about it, I just need the help. And I'm also stubborn, so I'm not going to beg for help. I will just feel resentful that you didn't see my need. I can't help it that that is not logical.
Maybe tomorrow I will be back to my goal setting, list checking self, but right now, I'm just irked.
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