Great Expectations (or Whatever)

Lately I have been thinking alot about the expectations that we put on the people and the realtionships that we have in our lives. The titles that people hold, by their placement in the family, or society, and how that relates to us, and what that means to us. For example, what does the title "mother in law" mean? What does that bring to your mind? Is it negative or positive? How about "grandmother"? Or "neighbor"? I have to say that I have a very unususal family. I am the only person I know with a half sister, an adopted half sister, and an adopted half brother who is also my step nephew! All of these connections are legal, and moral. My kids have "uncles" who are not related, who are more like pawpaws, and aunts that act like grandmothers. They have Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers limited by health and distance. I learned a long time ago that the labels just don't matter that much when people love your children. I also learned that accepting the limits of the people you love does not mean that you will stop wishing that they COULD meet your expectations, even when your common sense tells you that this is unrealistic.
So, expectations. Where do they come from? I don't think I expect "Leave It To Beaver" (a recent accusation, can you imagine the nerve!) or a soap opera romance. I read alot, and I'll admit, I would like some of the written relationship behaviors in my life. I also know that as a sane person, that's just not going to happen. The odds of my husband baring his heart and soul to me in a poem or sweeping me off to a private island are pretty low. I know this. I do have lesser expectations. So when I am disappointed that he does not do these things, who is wrong? Him for not meeting my expectations, or me for having them? Does it matter? Is anybody wrong? And this is not just my husband, this is people in general. Are we wrong to have expectations about people? And if your expectations are evidently too high, whose problem is it? ARGGGHHH!!