Parenting: Get Your Head Out of Your Butt

     Last week my mother, 2 of 3 daughters, and one daughter's boyfriend, (ages 14, 17, and 18) went to the aquarium. I could not remember the last time I had been, but I know it was before Hurricane Katrina. Therefore, I know I had small children. We had a really good time, and I loved seeing all the different exhibits. They have added some things, like the parakeet area, where the birds come and sit on your hands and fingers to eat the Popsicle sticks with birdseed attached that you buy for a buck.

     Here is my issue. Many times, we saw kids being either ignored or rushed through the place because their parents were on the phone or talking to someone else. I was almost knocked down by a little boy who was running crazy, and his parents did not even acknowledge the situation because they were busy talking to the couple next to them. And the little girl next to me at the stingray petting pool did not get to pet one because her mother did not want to take the time to get her to settle down a bit and not be afraid each time they came close. It was sad. 

     Now we come to the whole incident where the boy fell into the gorilla exhibit and the gorilla was subsequently killed. I obviously was not there. And I have no doubt that the zoo staff know more about the animal than most of the public and acted appropriately. I just wonder, given what I observed this past week, if this incident was way more preventable than we know. Placing blame does not bring an endangered animal back, but if looking closely at the incident keeps it from happening again, then I say gently assign the blame where it belongs. In an intelligent way. If the zoo habitat needs to be redesigned, then do it. If there needs to be a zoo staffer assigned to monitor the balconies of the "open" areas, hire them. And if parents need to bring aunts or uncles or grandparents with them to make the ratios of adult to child even, for safety, go for it. 

     I don't mean to sound judgemental. And while I think my kids are pretty great, and that Ray and I did a pretty good job, at least so far, we did lose Sarah at the parish fair once. She got away from us and got in line for the roller coaster. She was 4. We were very lucky.

     I have been absent from my blog posting for a bit because I have a lot to say,and at the same time, so much that can't be talked about. Not because it's not worth talking about, but it is not really mine to talk about. Necessarily vague. If you are close to my family, you know.

     All that has happened lately has made me very aware of how old my kids are. Em is 14. She is the least needy of the bunch, and really wants to be left alone most of the time. You know the type. Throw some food in the cave every now and then. But the fact is, she is the youngest child. Because of the events of the last two years I have found my self in a very weird place. I know that at some point, usually the parents become more needy than the children, causing a shift in the structure of the family. By necessity, because I can't drive anymore, I have become dependent on two of my children for transportation already, and I am not liking it so much. At first I was pretty amazed, and very thankful that I was ok with being the perpetual passenger. Before, I liked to drive. All the time. When we went anywhere, I almost always drove. All about the power, I guess. And now, it's not that I want to drive, it's that I am tired of having to ask. To arrange. To figure it out. And to miss things when it doesn't "work out". And I still have to arrange for Emily. It is a cycle of never ending guilt, and I'm pretty tired of it. But It won't be ending anytime soon. Like ever.

   

Slogging Through Syrup

     I can't believe that I have neglected to post a blog since July. I can say that I have drafted many entries in my head. I have gone over many topics, discarded a LOT of stories to protect the guilty, and gotten up so many mornings with the intention to write something, anything on my poor lonely blog.

     But.... like much of my life right now, I never seemed to get to it. I often feel like I am slogging through syrup. Like every task is harder and takes longer than it should. Aside from the health issues that I am still dealing with, the medicine I have to take has some side effects. All of it combined leads to good days, and not so good days. Then the not so good days lead to tons of guilt about what didn't get done that day. I feel so much guilt, all the time, I'd swear there has to be some Jewish blood somewhere back in our history.
 
     On a good note, Amanda got her first "big girl" job, ironically as a 911 dispatcher. I am very proud. Ray and I counted and from my grandfather through to her, we have had 10 different badges in our family. I wish my dad and Pawpaw could see that. But I know they can.  Last week we went to see two wedding venues and have started planning the wedding. Herding cats comes to mind.......LOL.

     Also last week, we ordered Sarah's graduation invitations, cap, gown, etc. She has been on the A-B Honor Roll this year and is actually enjoying it. Figures that she'd find her groove in the last stretch. She had a choir concert last night that was SO GOOD. I am a huge sap, and I only got teary once. Seriously. I cry at ALL these kids performances. Any video has me in the background sniffing and snorting. Check out my YouTube channel. You'ii see.

     Emily is Em. she's 14. No other comment. Just kidding. She's a sweetheart, taller than me (duh), with curly hair like the goat on FB. She is OBSESSED with Pentatonix.

So anyway, that's whats been up with me. Got a few things on the horizon, and I totally intend to blog it!

Vacation Days 4-7

** Repost** Apparently it did not post the fist time. Who knew??

     So days 4 - 7 were kind of a blur, We continued our trend of just doing what we wanted, so the kids stayed in their bathing suits moat of the time. Ray wanders the complex and knows all the neighbors, where they are from, what their occupations are, etc. Warren likes to chill in his tower room and watch Netflix, then he comes out of his lair every now and then, as do I.
     The BigMacs rented standing paddle boards for use in the bay, and we all ended up trying it (except Ray and Mom). Emily and Sarah rocked it. Amanda, not so much, but got high points for entertainment, and did eventually stay up for a bit. I managed to stand up for a few seconds once. Bob and Warren were great, Lia did good, and Beth was a rider. All in all, we had a blast.
     On Friday, we all went to Ft. Pickens, were Ray and I first visited Florida as a couple. The kids and the BigMacs toured the fort, we went to th museum, then we all went to the beach. There was a storm in the gulf, so the riptides were HUGE, and we ended up mostly sitting at the waters edge, but it was still a great day. Then Ray caught two little boys peeping under the floor of the women's bathrooms. Always vigilant.
     Saturday, Emily, Beth, and I went snorkeling in the bay. We stayed in about 2 feet of water, and only saw small fish and some hermit crabs, but Beth thought she was Jacques Cousteau. And it was very relaxing. We spent most of the day in the water, either in the bay or in the pool.
      We left for home, packed, because the BigMacs had to leave earlier in order to get home and then leave almost immediately for a work trip, so all the stuff the had brought with them in their truck, we had to carry in our SUV back. We were packed like clams. Due to a fatality accident on the interstate, getting home took an extra couple of hours, but we handled it.
     Over all, the trip was a great success. We took care to treat each other kindly, which was my goal. We spent time together, but not enough to get on each other's nerves. We made some meories. I kept my expectations in check, and we all communicated (most of the time). For 10 - 12 people, you couldn't ask for more, in my opinion.

Vacation Days 2 & 3

     So I guess a vacation is going well when you are either too tired or too busy to post, right? Yesterday, everyone was WORN OUT from trying to do everything at least once in the first day, so we spent most of the morning lounging around. Then the adults went to Rodizio Grill, which is a Brazilian Steakhouse. Basically you sit, and they come and slice delicious grilled steaks and other meats for you. Just meats. Oh, and grilled pineapple. You can get up and go get salad and other veggies if you want (but WHY?) and THEY KEEP BRINGING YOU MEAT!! I was so happy. And so full. It Was beyond good. Although I did pass on the chicken hearts. Ray, of course, did not pass on anything. Bob and Lia treated us for our anniversary. Not enough thanks!!! Bur THANK YOU!!

     Came back and went swimming and winder of wonders, we did not hit the bottom after all that food. Then the nephew, Em, Amanda, Ray and I watched "To Kill a Mockingbird". Kids kept trickling away and by the end of the movie, it was just me and Emily. She is almost 14 (2 weeks, just ask her) so it's a great time to see this movie and "get it".

Today, Lia and Bob visited some friends. They used to live in the area, so they still have local friends. Mom is doing the same thing tomorrow. Half the crew went to the beach. Sarah hung at the pool. Mom and the grandkids played Monopoly this morning. Meatloaf for dinner. It's all very exciting.

Family Vacation, AHOY!

     Well, yesterday the whole extended family embarked on our first vacation together. Yep, 10 of us in a Florida condo for 7 days. We range from 9 to 63. 3 generations. Lots of personalities. 2 stroke victims, 1 TBA, several anxiety sufferers, 4 teens, and a Yankee. (we love Bob anyway!). My sister and I planned this to the best our abilities, and then we are just turning it over. Lia found a great condo near the beach with a fishing pier, and a pool, so there should be something for everyone to do. we have three floors to spread out, and we have plenty of room. So far, day one of Florida Family Vaca 2015 has been great. Beach this morning, pool this afternoon, long nap, bar-b-cue dinner, pool again, settling in for the evening. We win!!

I've Gone and Done It!

SO, after many years of scribbling, lots of FB post, my little bloggy here,and Twitter, I started writing the book that's been in my head. Actually, this is my third start. But it's for real this time, and I'll tell you why. I also joined a writer's group. For accountability and tips and criticism and ALL that stuff! All the stuff that lets you quit.

Last night was our first meeting and in the manner of full disclosure, it ended up being just me, one of my besties and my mom. Which sounds like it would be the BEST audience for the first read-aloud of your written material, right? Well, here is my little secret. I am an actress, too. When I am in an uncomfortable and new situation, BAM! Actress Heather takes over. So, Heather the Mysterious Writer With Lots of Important and Meaningful Things to Say was going to read her work easily and with confidence. But since Misty and Mom knew it was me, I had to suck it up. And since I could not see the freaking words, (bad eye day) Misty ended up reading it anyway. They liked it, I was happy and relieved and mainly I got the first hurdle of getting my words out there into space.

The moral is, even if it's scary, do it.