Pandemic Thoughts

      It will probably not come as a surprise to anyone, but I have stressed a lot about writing any posts about this pandemic situation. I have composed so many things in my head and never actually typed them. Mentally deleted them if you will. There are simply too many things and too many ways to offend people. But I think the time has come, at least for me, that my words have to come out, and if someone is offended by them, so be it. 

     We are living in an unusual time. A historic time. And obviously history is often not fun or pretty. We end up finding the shiny parts, and sometimes turning a blind eye to some of the messier parts (a whole OTHER thing going on right now), and I wonder how this time will look 50 years from now. Will we have Pandemic recipes like we have Depression era pie recipes? Will we tell our great grandchildren how we "suffered"? The reality is that for most people, the pandemic has resulted in many things that have been uncomfortable, but they have not suffered. Not in a true sense of the word. Worried, yes. Stressed, absolutely. But suffered, not so much.

     I do not in any way mean to discount people who have been ill, and of course those who have lost their lives. I am aware that this illness can be deadly. My mil is a nurse, believe me, I know. I've had friends who have lost family members (not Covid related) who have not been able to have a "normal" funeral service. I've seen on the internet where some people were extremely upset about not being able to attend a prenatal checkup with their person. All upsetting, for sure. But I think that with the perspective of time, we will see that these things are not as critical to our lives as they seem right now. During previous epidemics when hundreds of thousands of people died, funerals were not even held. People were buried in mass graves. We are so much farther ahead than we realize sometimes. 

     Social media can be both the best and worst things in a time of crisis. We can get up to the minute information, and make informed decisions. But if the effort is not taken to make sure the info is from a reliable source, that decision may not have been for the best. And every move you make is up for criticism and debate depending on how much you post, tweet, and blog. (Yes, I am aware of the irony here.) There will always be someone to tell you how right you are, or how wrong you are, and sometimes both at the same time. 

     So. My point. Everything is always changing. What is a disaster today will be history tomorrow. Our perspectives will change, our stories will change. The world is fluid, and things like politics, equality, the pandemic, social justice, and religion will always be debated. My personal goal is to try to extend grace in the conversations. 

     The above is solely MY opinion. 'Cause it's my blog. Get your own and you can say what YOU want. ((Wink))

I'm a Bookstagrammer

     So I recently decided to add another aspect to my social media world that I have every intention of keeping current and very well may not. I am now a Bookstagrammer, For the uninitiated, that is an Instagram account that is dedicated to all things books. I learned really quickly that there are a lot of accounts that are promoting "giveaways" for following their pages, and some that are only for self promotion. But the are many that are simply about sharing what they are enjoying reading. And even when they share about books they didn't enjoy, the reviews and reasons are helpful. It's only been a week, but I've enjoyed the adventure so far. If you want to follow, I'm at @haloheartspages.

      Onto the most recent reads.
I have always been fascinated by all things JFK and JKO, and this book did not disappoint. Although it is plainly stated that it is a novel, it is written from the point of view of Jackie, starting from the time that Jack and Jackie meet. The book is written so well that Jackie's voice as narrator is very believable. I found myself hoping that this is actually how she felt about things, and that these conversations did in fact happen. The author does take liberties with some facts, but she explains when and why at the end of the book, and those changes do make sense. Overall, I felt this novel was an enjoyable read, and added a human aspect to historical figures.


I also listened to The Goldfinch on Audible. It was a loooong 32 hours. I have started this book 3 times and finally finished. The Goldfinch received a lot of reviews and so I thought I should try to finish it. Sometimes I rebel and don't finish a book that many people find amazing, just because I don't like it. Life is just too short. But The Goldfinch had just enough to keep me coming back, and the freaking pandemic gave me 32 hours. So I finished it. And I am glad I got through it. It turns out that the Goldfinch is a painting. There are so many twists and turns in this story, but they are well done, and just when you think you know what will happen, something else occurs. The bottom line, in my opinion, this is a long story, but hang in there, it is worth it.


         That is what is what I'm reading now.

What I've Been Reading

      Since we have been quarantined for 643 years, I have been doing even more reading than usual, but I decided not to post all of the books I was reading since some of them are old trashy novels. Nobody wants to read about that. Or maybe you do. Nora Roberts hasn't sold 6 billion books to just me. 

     Anyway, I've read a few books that are due to be released in a week or so. Reviewing books, and writing a blog gets you some perks like that. Sometime you get some garbage books too, but luckily that hasn't happened in a while. 

     Brave Girl, Quiet Girl is a book about a little girl that is taken in a carjacking. She is then found by a homeless teenage girl, and the ensuing story is about how the mother, the child, and the teen are all linked from that point. Or are they? It was a good read, and was on point with one of my pet peeves. If a story is going to address police matters, I want the research done correctly. This book had the facts pretty straight as far as police procedure would go. 

 

     I have read Ann Rule's true crime book's since I was in high school. Many of them were made into movies. Specifically ones about Ted Bundy and Diane Downs. Leslie Rule is her daughter, and grew up as her research assistant, and wrote a different genre. I was several chapters into A Tangled Web when I realized I had seen this exact story on 48 Hours less than a week before. I am not quite through with this book, because honestly it is a difficult read. I don't believe it has much to do with poor writing, but more to do with the fact that this story is very convoluted. It truly was a tangled web. I know how it ends, because I saw it on TV, but the book does have a lot of details that were left out, I imagine purely for time. Leslie Rule's writing style will no doubt be compared to her mother's, but I think she can hold her own. 

      I also listened to a few new Audible books, Me Before You by JoJo Moyes (very good), and When She Returned by Lucinda Berry (also very good). 

    

    Be well!

 

What I'm Reading

     I'm not real sure how I managed to get all the way to March without blogging anything since I write pretty consistently in my head. I guess there is a glitch in the system. Anyway, I'm going to ease into 2020 blogging by telling you about what I'm reading now.

     This was available on Netgalley, and was a pre-release. It will be published next month, and if you are a fan of island stories, or families, or the Irish, then I suggest you read it. It drew me in, and I finished it in about 2 days, with A LOT going on in my house.
      This one is a book launch I am part of, and I have not finished it yet. I am getting a lot out of it. If you know me at all, you know that so much has happened in our lives in the last 10 years and I do feel that I should write about it at some point. This book really seems like it will help me do that in the best way possible. So many people don't realize that reading books about writing is a thing. Writing is a skill that can be honed, and hopefully I will get better. Reading books like this one helps ( I think!), and I'm glad to have it in my arsenal. It releases April 7th.

     I also bought a copy of The Great Gatsby. Somehow I never read it in high school. We will see.

You'll Get It or You Won't

   Within the last week, 2 of my favorite writers have passed away, and I have been quite simply, distraught. If you are a reader, you will understand. To put it in perspective, these two ladies are two of the three authors of whom I have always purchased hardcover books, full price. Hardcovers today run about $25. Dorothea Benton-Frank wrote 19 novels. So that tells you how invested I have been in her career. And I am really sad that 19 is the limit. Anne Rivers-Siddons wrote a non-fiction that I did not read, but I read all 19 of her novels, again, buying them in hardcover. Ray even bought one for me one time as a surprise because he saw it at the mall when he was working in New Orleans before I could get it. This was before Amazon Prime. That shows how much I adored her, even my non-book reading husband recognized her name and bought me her book.

   Last year, Amanda drove me to New Orleans with my mom, and I got to meet Dorothea Benton-Frank, who was releasing a new book, and was awaiting her new grandchild. She was so excited, and was a delight to talk to. The gathering was small, so it really felt like I got to have a conversation with her, and we discussed her writing process. It was such a cool evening, and I will never forget meeting her.

   The first book I read by Anne Rivers-Siddons was called Outer Banks and I read it on a trip with my mother-in-law to Florida. She was not my MIL at the time, but my boyfriend's mom, and we had a great time. It was our first road trip together by ourselves, and since we both liked to read, that's what we did in the evenings. We piled up in our hotel room, and read. I had grabbed a new book at Sam's and found myself intrigued by a new favorite author.

   If you read a lot, fiction or non fiction, you begin to learn about the author. Even before we could follow the writer's private lives on Facebook and Twitter, there were the little bios on the back flap. And you learned about them by their style, their word usage, and their choice of topics. I really felt like I knew these two ladies. Even though I was only given the edited glimpses into their lives, I am so glad to have been given that. I will miss their work, and I will miss them.

The Things I'm Reading

   I have so much to share about that I will have to ease into blogging with something a little frivolous. But really, it's not frivolous at all because books and reading are what keeps all my spinning  plates from crashing to the floor. So, this is what I've been reading, and what I think about it. Thanks for asking!

1. High Achiever, by Tiffany Jenkins (no relation, lol)
     If you are on FB AT ALL, you've  probably seen some of her super funny yet super accurate videos about family and motherhood today. She is also very vocal about her issues with anxiety, depression, self worth, post-partum depression, just all the things that people DON'T talk about enough.
But High Achiever is about Tiffany's past in the drug world, her time in jail, how she got there, and how she got out. I should mention I got the audio book and it was AHMAZING. Tiffany narrated the book herself, so its really just her telling you her story. And what a story. I just want the follow up story. And I want to see her live. And I want to go hang out at her house. But for now, the book is totally worth it.




2. This Is What You'll Remember, by Holly Waugh
    This is a memoir by a FB friend of my . We were connected by being on a few book launches together, and share a lot of the same friends. When offered the option of helping to launch her new book I jumped at the chance, and I loved it. Her book is so intense and so raw. Holly lays bare the things that have happened to her in her life, and how she not only recovers, but flourishes. anyone can take away something from the beautiful story of redemption no matter where you are in your story.
This Is What You'll Remember: A Memoir by Holly Waugh https://www.amazon.com/dp/1097509044/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_U_x_.6lxDbGZNS2A3 via @amazon

Unresolved relationships: What's on My MInd

   Lately I have been struggling with some unresolved relationships in my life. Not the kind you'd normally think, like my dad's death or anything like that. But the kind where you think you have a certain standing or place in a relationship and then suddenly the relationship is over, or you learn that you are not as important to the other person as you thought. I have always tended to make work-friends that I thought were actually friend-friends, and it took me literally years to learn that some friends at work are just that. Friends at work. And some of my work-friends have been my long time friends and will continue to be. But they are not always the same. And that's a hard lesson, and watching my grown kids learn that lesson is hard too.

   The relationships I am referring to have more to do with outside friendships that just end with no context. "We used to be such close friends," What happened? No idea. When you invest your time and your heart into a relationship, the kind where you do family things, campouts, dinners, babysitting, etc. and then suddenly you never hear from them, that hurts. And I have tried to get over it. I really have. But its a struggle. Because when this happens, our human brains says it is us. We did something, said something. But as my grandmother said, "Sweep your own side of the street.' I think I've swept mine pretty well, and if I did something, I am truly not aware of it. I was supportive, available, and pro-active.

   In hindsight, I can see that this friendship was never really what it should have been anyway. I was pretty good at following through when I committed to something. I was honest. I was there, which in my mind is the key to a good friendship. I often didn't receive the same treatment. Now I see how often I was relegated to the side, inadvertently made to feel less than, and used to bolster an ego when it was never reciprocated.

   After realizing all of this, in the passage of time, you'd think I wouldn't care why this person dropped me like a hot rock. But I do. I want to know if there was any point at which we felt the same levels of friendship. Was I always meant to be a temporary friend? And the dumb questions, why wasn't I good enough? It feels like a breakup where the other person just ghosts you. And it really should not matter that much, but it does matter to me in this case.
 
   Eventually I will let this go, but it really bothers me right now. I've thought about reaching out and just asking, "What's up?", but I don't think it will help. Because of past actions I don't think I'll get an honest answer, which is just as hurtful. So, I'm left to stew in the what-if's. The why didn't I see that befores. I wonder why this all happened and if I could have fixed it even though logically I can see that I could not. One person pouring into a friendship will only work for so long. And then I guess you are left feeling used and stupid, like I feel. And still no resolution.